The phrase: “I don’t have money, you know… student life…” or, “Mother, may I please have my allowance three days earlier this month?” are all too familiar to every student and their unfortunate provider.
But there is hope!
Inside the depths of every store – whether it is the grocery, appliance, or furniture store – hides the money tree, containing leaves with magical “three-in-one” properties. (Yes, I found a cash tree!)
The leaves vary in colour ranging from off-white, matt black to dark grey. The secret, however, is that these leaves are physical objects that serve a multipurpose!
One of these leaves finds its sole purpose in our bathrooms but has much more potential: Toilet paper. It can not only wipe your buttocks, but also your nose and your windows. There might remain white fluff on your clean windows afterwards but these serve to remind you of your independence and hard work.
Another one hides inside all appliance stores: The toaster. Not only does it pop out beautiful breakfast toasties, but it can also serve as a sandwich maker. Simply place your gourmet toasty into a ‘toaster sandwich bag’ and into the toaster. (These reusable bags also leave no mess behind!) Furthermore, the toaster has a purpose few know about – it is warm and provides a comfy atmosphere. Merely leave your toaster on and enjoy the free heat in your cosy apartment. This cheap solution might burn down your kitchen, so remember to not enjoy this heating source for more than 2 minutes.
After a long day of cleaning windows and making food (on the days you don’t order McDonalds) students get tired and a mysterious urge arises to summon a colossal group of friends over – and everyone needs a place to sit. (Now, camper chairs are not the solution – space issue, you know). Instead, one could pluck the leaf named sleeper couch. This affordable option does not merely serve as a couch, but also as a bed and even a movie theatre – with the easy addition of a laptop.
Additionally, your friends are also green-coloured in disguise. These leaves (yes, your friends) sometimes serve up to five purposes: They provide good company, are excellent dishwashers, coffee machines, release laughing gas every thirty minutes and are excellent cleaning ladies. Do not fear the expense of providing them with cleaning materials.
Another leaf, washing powder, goes a long way as it sweeps dirt off your counters, clothes, and filthy hands.
Finally, I’ll share with you my last secret leaf, but you must promise not to share my prized knowledge with everyone. The name is: Oh-so-heavenly-hectically-handy-hearty bathroom spray. With three sprays you, your bathroom and your unwashed clothing will smell as good as new.
The money tree has never been a myth – we have just searched in the wrong places. The three-in-one leaves are scattered all around us. With innovation and creativity, the phrase: “I don’t have money, #studentlife,” will belong to the past!Sareez Basson